On September 30th, 2013, I worked my very first shift at Wesley Medical Center. Offered a position in labor and delivery (somewhere I'd always wanted to work), I was very excited about all the women I would get to help and all the births I would get to witness. It took me at least a good six months to get to the point that I felt like I knew what I was doing. I remember saying to friends how much I was looking forward to when I felt comfortable with what I was doing and could actually enjoy that special miracle moment of birth that I was allowed to be a part of so often. 1 year later, I can honestly say that most of the time I feel comfortable with what I'm doing and thank God every time I get to witness another miracle.
On May 8th, just 7 months later, I received a message from Sr. Claire asking me if I would be interested in joining the Missionary Sisters of the Society of Mary (or Marists) as a volunteer in
Peru. I talked with Sister over skype and prayed about it a lot. To anyone who has known me over the years, it's no secret that mission work has always been a dream of mine. I got the idea long before nursing school. Going to Spain in September of 2012 was always (in my mind) a first step so that I could later serve others in a Spanish speaking country. No matter how much I tried to convince myself I shouldn't go, I continued to feel a peace that this was what I had been waiting for and it was God's will.
My mind tells me this is an irresponsible thing to do. I've only been at Wesley for a year. I still have so much to learn. I could save up money so I don't ever have to be a beggar. We are super short staffed and there seems to be an all time high amount of women pregnant in Wichita. I have so many friends and family here that I will miss so much. And when I come back, things will be different. But, then I pray about it and remember why I started looking into this in the beginning. My heart wants to make a difference for others...for those most in need. I often feel like I'm just spinning my wheels and I wonder if I could better serve others and find my purpose in life elsewhere.
I wish I could say that I hate what I'm doing and that this was an easy decision for me. But, it's not so. I worked my last night at Wesley LDR. I am so glad I've had this experience. There were a few shifts that I was running and so stressed all night, that I wondered why the heck I was doing it. But, overall, it has been the most rewarding job I've had yet. I work with some of the best nurses I know and they are so good at what they do. They have taught me so much. They have all been so supportive in my decision to leave, even though I feel terrible about abandoning them now. Leaving early this a.m. was weird. It seems like I'll be back, but I honestly have no idea what the future has in store for me. (except for a bunch of empty boxes that need to be packed for the movers in the next 80 hours!)
I sometimes wish I could just get a quick glance at my life and what is going to happen!
